more about love...

On November 7th. about 2:45 in the afternoon I called Marc's house because I wanted to see if it would be okay to visit and whether that day or the next would be a better time. Anthony, his doctor friend answered the phone and said yes, come now, come today; I said I'd be there in a little over an hour since I was driving up from Davis. As I was about to put the phone down he said "wait, wait, Marc wants to talk to you". Marc came on the line and his voice was strong and clear as it hadn't been in weeks and he said, "Poonam, I love you and all my students; I want you all, and Raquel and Lauren to remember me as I was: thank you for being in my life". I said "Marc, Marc, thank you for being in our lives" but there was no more sound at the other end; I don't know if he heard me; I hope he did. I got in the car and raced over to Berkeley, crying and afraid that I might be too late, but I was fortunate enough to see him and to spend the last evening of his life with him. We sat around his bed: Lauren, Raquel, Vicky (Raquel's long time friend), and Jeremy (Marc's dear firend) and we spent the evening telling stories until he said he was tired and wanted to sleep. I like to think that my being there was a symbolic presence of all his students whom he has loved so much.
These past few weeks I have thought back to all the classes and office hours I have had with Marc since I was an undergraduate in Comp. Lit. (1994). I could say he was my favorite professor and it would be true, but he was so much more than that. I think about all the ways in which he has held me in his life and allowed me to grow; how he was always there with practical advice and a no nonense attitude; how he made me stay in grad school and explained how not to be intimidated by theory; how he sparked intellectual inquiry and made it the moral principle of my life...in a profound way, I think of Marc as the father of my intellectual life and remain forever grateful for his presence in my life. I love you, Marc. My children whom you invited to your class when I didn't have a baby sitter, remember you as the "cool professor with the pony tail".
There are so many stories I want to share; I start with this one because I want you all to know how much he loved you and thought of you till the very last moment. More later...
Poonam